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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to work in the same type of job throughout their lifetime while others like to change the type of jon they do. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #work #type #job #lifetime #change #jon
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Some individuals choose the same profession
in
Change preposition
apply
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their whole life.In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 there are more advantages of changing occupation
instead
Linking Words
 of, Doing the same
job
Use synonyms
 for years.
Firstly
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,Varying their
work
Use synonyms
for
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apply
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every two to three years actually have a lot of benefits
such
Linking Words
 as, We know the current technology,we upgrade ourselves by means of salary
as well as
Linking Words
position
Add an article
the position
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 of the
job
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,if an individual is a Software employee,if he changed his profession after
certain
Add an article
a certain
the certain
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 period he
gain
Change the verb form
gains
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good
Add an article
a good
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 amount of income and other allowances
of
Change preposition
from
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company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,it is not a permanent position.There we have a lot of
work
Use synonyms
 and not a stable income and we cannot guarantee the
work
Use synonyms
.But,I believe that varying the jobs
actually
Add a missing verb
is actually
show examples
 a good thing.
In addition
Linking Words
, By
the
Correct article usage
apply
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replacing the
job
Use synonyms
 have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to live in different places across the globe where,we know the culture and traditions,
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
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 to experience various types of foods and live a
luxury
Replace the word
luxurious
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 lifestyle and explore the world.Even though there are demerits like moving to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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different countries actually
distrubs
Correct your spelling
disturbs
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life and people easily attack diseases.Sometimes,They get allergies or skin diseases because of water or food and
we
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 miss
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 family,friends and
closed
Replace the word
close
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 ones .I think, upgrading ourselves by means of occupation has more merits actually it outweighs
the
Correct article usage
apply
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staying in
Correct article usage
a similiar
show examples
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
job
Use synonyms
 for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time.
To conclude
Linking Words
,There are
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 flaws
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 replacing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
such
Linking Words
 as temporary jobs and missing the family.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, Taking
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
risks and moving to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new positions have
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 benefits.
Submitted by mounikayerragonda on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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