In many countries , a small number of people earn extremely higher salaries same people believe that this is good for country , but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level.  Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many individuals believe that governments should introduce a maximum wage
while
others think considerably higher salaries are useful for the country and its residents.  I personally believe that employee remuneration should be capped at a certain level.  Many
people
have different views about whether governments should introduce a maximum wage . On the one ,hand there are various reasons why it might be considered beneficial to allow 
people
to pay extremely
higher
Correct word choice
high
show examples
salaries.  If a company offer a huge salary for
employees
they can attract the most talented workers in their field to work for only them . So it  might be useful for companies. 
For example
, a company
which is producing
Wrong verb form
that produces
show examples
a variety of modern technology can attract
employees
the best programmers in
this
way . So
this
company is modern all over the world. 
Furthermore
, these well-paid
employees
may give a higher motivation to work hard and
therefore
drive their business successfully paying high salaries nearly beneficial to everyone.  On the other ,hand I agree that there should be a maximum wage . By intolerance limited wages
people
actively equality in society.  Today , everyone should have equal rights in society. 
For instance
, almost in every
Factories
Replace the word
factory
show examples
employees
always work harder
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than bosses but bosses earn a
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
salary than simple
employees
.
This
condition is unfair to poor
people
This
may well cause
people
would lose their homes and jobs even if they
won't
Correct your spelling
don't
migrate to another city  or country .
This
is because they are looking for better-paying jobs.  In conclusion, I believe that the same monthly payment for everyone is more beneficial for the country and the population.
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task response
The essay addresses the given topic but lacks a clear and consistent logical structure. There is an attempt to support the main points, but the ideas are not well-developed and lack sufficient relevant and specific examples. Overall, the task response is limited.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are partially present, but they lack clarity and coherence. The ideas are not consistently organized and connected, leading to confusion and lack of coherence and cohesion in the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • incentivize
  • discrepancy
  • inequality
  • social cohesion
  • equitable distribution
  • wealth concentration
  • talent retention
  • global competitiveness
  • social unrest
  • innovate
  • government intervention
  • salary cap
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