All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

This
Change preposition
In this
show examples
day and age,most
people
who have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
various
health
problems
are preferring to consume substitute
drugs
and some treatments apart from
to go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
special
Replace the word
specialist
show examples
doctors
. I think
this
occasion has more
disadvantage
Replace the word
disadvantageous
show examples
aspects and in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will suggest clear reasons with real examples. Turning to the advantage side of
this
situation,in
this
modern world most
people
are deciding to consume different medicines without recommend of
doctors
and
this
situation is useful to finance for some
people
.
This
is because if
people
go to
meeting
Correct article usage
a meeting
show examples
with
Add an article
the doctor
a doctor
show examples
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
, they should pay some money or rewards
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their
analayse
Correct your spelling
analysis
and
scanning
Wrong verb form
scan
show examples
for
doctors
.
Therefore
some
people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
buy
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
treatments
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
tackle
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
or injuries and they think that
this
position is useful for them,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
they do not know these
drugs
which useful or harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
health
.
For example
,
also
in my
hometown
Add a comma
,hometown
show examples
there are
this
kind of
people
.
However
,others find unuseful for their
health
this
situation
due to
the fact that
drugs
are not advised by
doctors
. In
this
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
there are so many
supportives
Correct your spelling
supportive
with
this
view and they always go to their usual
doctors
when they have
health
problems
.
For instance
, in my
home
Add a comma
,home
show examples
my grandparents always attend to their special doctor
while
they
hurted
Correct your spelling
hurt
show examples
or
injuired
Correct your spelling
injured
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think
this
pattern is useful in every aspect and it
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not give pray
health
or
people
. Even in other countries some families have their usual
doctors
and these
doctors
care
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for them when they face some
problems
related to their
health
. I think
this
method has so many
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
aspects and most
people
always are supportive
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
judgement. In
conclusin
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
although
the number of
people
who consume substitute
drugs
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
injuries
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
increising
Correct your spelling
increasing
,most
people
remain stable with their opinion that they always attend with
health
problems
to their special
doctors
,
this
is because
doctors
are
Correct quantifier usage
more believible
show examples
believible
Correct your spelling
believable
believably
than various
unkown
Correct your spelling
unknown
drugs
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Overweight
  • Epidemic
  • Sedentary
  • Processed food
  • Fast food
  • Nutritional education
  • Awareness
  • Stress
  • Emotional eating
  • Genetic factors
  • Access
  • Healthy food options
  • Marketing
  • Urbanization
  • Lifestyles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: