✅ Q: Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#q #people #traditions #society #individuals

Many individuals argue that toddlers should rely on their

traditions

while

others believe that they should live liberty as they want.In my opinion, youngsters' live freedom is more vitally important rather than upholding tradition. Some

people

think that upholding

traditions

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

more amazing and enjoyable feelings

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than social media.Because traditional holidays are important for the growth young population. If toddlers want to join

such

Change preposition

apply

show examples

traditional festivals, first thing first their thoughts change the best side.

For instance

, as for traditional

carnival

Fix the agreement mistake

carnivals

show examples

, my country

is available

Verb problem

has

show examples

a number of festivals of them are

that

Change preposition

show examples

Navruz.

This

Carnaval is more vitally important for our hometown

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

this

party everything traditional things

such

as clothes and meals, so many young

people

are keen on

this

holiday. On the one hand, I believe that if adolescents

should

Verb problem

apply

show examples

follow any

traditions

, they cannot create

future

Correct article usage

a future

show examples

life for themselves.

This

is because they always use traditional methods for every situation, resulting in youngsters relying on

traditions

and losing thought

for study

Change preposition

about studying

show examples

,work and

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

life.If they are choosing

this

way that more believe

traditions

, our world never change.

For instance

, any other countries

people

don't realize the demand for development noticeably

decrease

Correct subject-verb agreement

decreases

show examples

Furthermore

, some young

people

always control what they eat and what they wear. Because they are compulsory to wear traditional clothing.

This

can lead to them losing capabilities.

Thus

it seems so tedious in their life. In conclusion,

although

this

trend

is providing

Wrong verb form

provides

show examples

a number of benefits, in my view the problems of

this

trend

Add a missing verb

are more

show examples

than the benefits.

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Sun Jun 11 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas are logically connected.

task achievement

Carefully address all aspects of the essay question and support your ideas with relevant examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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✅ Q: Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

art classes, such as painting and drawing , are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. to what extent do you agree or disagree

you lost something and someone found it and send it to you.Writing aletter to that person Thanking the person explain how you must have lost it Explain what was in it and why it was important to you

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level. Write an essay either for or against this position. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person’s culture and character from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?