IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face and how can these problems be tackled.

#people #cities #face #range #life
People
 who live in large cities face a range of
problems
 in their daily life. What are the main
problems
people
 in cities face ,and how can these
problems
 be tackled? Massive
problems
 are becoming increasingly common among individuals who live in the big cities.
While
this
 is a consequence of overcrowding and poverty, I believe that governments can undertake effective measures to address or at least
mitigate
Correct pronoun usage
itmitigate
show examples
.
On
Correct your spelling
One
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 principal causes that can lead to
problems
 in the
city
 is overcrowding.
This
 is because
people
 who stay in the
city
 desire to have their own cars as they are more convenient to travel or to commute
Change preposition
to wirk
show examples
wirk
Correct your spelling
work
 and market any time .
Consequently
, the number of accidents may increase on roads.If the number of cars
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 less,
people
 would not worry about happening accidents which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 on
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 road .
Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally
show examples
 some of
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 who
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 from
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 to
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 are stricken by poverty .
This
 reason is that the
price
 of products in the
city
 is very expensive .
This
,in turn, can lead to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 proportion of poor
people
 in the
city
. To
this
 find solution ,governments should encourage
people
 to use public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
. Because public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 can hold more
people
.It can lead to reduce overcrowded
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 retail outlets should reduce the
price
 of items.The reason is that they put the
price
 they desire on the products. Poor
people
 suffer to meet their needs
such
 as clothes,
Correct word choice
and foods
show examples
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
.So the authority should
price
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
vendors
Change noun form
vendors'
vendor's
show examples
items.
To sum
up
Add a comma
,up
show examples
although
 overcrowded areas and poverty are serious issues in the
city
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
If
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 steps are
take
Wrong verb form
taken
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the situation will surely
imrove
Correct your spelling
improve
 in the coming years.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolis
  • commute
  • public transportation
  • gridlock
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • expensive housing
  • exorbitant prices
  • work-life balance
  • recreation areas
  • parks and gardens
  • criminal activities
  • security measures
  • density
  • neighborhood
  • public amenities
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: