Employers should focus on personal qualities of qualifications and experience when choosing someone for job. To what extent do you agree?

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Personal qualities and experience must be considered by employers when taking someone for a position. In fact, I agree with that statement for two reasons.

Firstly

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, a company which open some job vacancies will announce their needs

specially

Rephrase

especially

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position with various general requirement.

For instance

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, an engineering position is only for someone who has a major in that field. It does not make sense if employers will choose applicants from accountancy because it is much different.

Besides

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that, most departments or organisations require ability in academics. To illustrate

this

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condition, I will take Pertamina, one of the biggest oil producers in

Indonesia

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. Pertamina gives a target that the person who will become their employee must have a minimum GPA of 3.0. It can be proven by showing their study transcript

that is

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compatible with the vacancies.

Secondly

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, fresh graduates can apply for the job vacancy, indeed experiences will be considered by the company as an advantage.

Consequently

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, the company does not need to spend more money to train the candidate. But, in some cases, the applicants who have

many

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

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will ask bigger salary than a new candidate. I believe that

this

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is a crucial point for the companies to define and decide in the final announcement.

For example

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, the biggest

bank

Use synonyms

Indonesia

Use synonyms

Bank

Use synonyms

Indonesia

Use synonyms

has a recruitment program, namely ODP (Orientation Development Program). In the program,

Bank

Use synonyms

Indonesia

Use synonyms

will give a chance

not

Fix the infinitive

to not

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only new employees who have experience but

also

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fresh graduates. There is no gap between the two categories of employees. It is given because

Bank

Use synonyms

Indonesia

Use synonyms

will make sure that they have the same ability and competency

to begin

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their job.

Finally

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, in conclusion, I believe that both qualifications and experiences are

huge

Correct word choice

apply

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crucial for institutions and become a determining factor of success.

donihabiburrahman8Sun Jun 11 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly present, and that your essay follows a logical structure.

Task Achievement

Provide a fuller development and elaboration of your ideas to fully address the prompt.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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