IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Young people today are better qualified than they were in the past. Some people argue that that is because competition for jobs is greater than it used to be. Others say that people only continue their education because the opportunities exist for them to do so. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #competition #jobs #education #opportunities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Being qualified is important, especially in
this
Linking Words
 fast-moving
generation
Use synonyms
. Nowadays the more qualified a person is, the more
opportunities
Use synonyms
 and goals are achievable, but in the past, the
opportunities
Use synonyms
 to
gain
Use synonyms
 a
qualification
Use synonyms
 were limited
due to
Linking Words
 limited resources and lack of availability. But in the new
generation
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 can maximize the
opportunities
Use synonyms
 being gained by a person, allowing companies to reach
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
higher qualified employees,
therefore
Linking Words
 increasing the competition of each employee being hired, resulting in being more qualified and certified becoming certainly important. But in the past, getting
jobs
Use synonyms
 were easier
due to
Linking Words
 not much requirement level being set by the employers, as in some cities and towns social class were low having employer
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
pick employees with basic intelligence and knowledge, and having temporary
jobs
Use synonyms
 with lower salaries.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
education
Use synonyms
 was delt because some
people
Use synonyms
 had the opportunity to be involved
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, and some
people
Use synonyms
 who were from lower social classes with low income were not able to afford
such
Linking Words
 type of
education
Use synonyms
 and treatment lacking the
education
Use synonyms
 level required by a human being.
Linking Words
This
Change preposition
In this
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 in which the
internet
Use synonyms
 is being modified and inducted
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the now day world, ways of working or thinking about ideas are substituted.
Due to
Linking Words
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 new
opportunities
Use synonyms
 are open, allowing
people
Use synonyms
 to get access and communicate with newer
people
Use synonyms
 and
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 hands on new technology which can allow them to
gain
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
, and join themselves in programs to modify their
Use synonyms
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, having the accessibility to
internet
Use synonyms
 in the new
generation
Use synonyms
 has allowed many
people
Use synonyms
 around the globe to reach new levels of skills and interest allowing them to
gain
Use synonyms
 qualified
jobs
Use synonyms
, which again increases competition for
jobs
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 did not get access to the
internet
Use synonyms
 restricting them from gaining
such
Linking Words
opportunities
Use synonyms
, and forcing them to continue the level of
education
Use synonyms
 being served to them.
As per
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
 are more qualified
due to
Linking Words
 them having
such
Linking Words
 kinds of technology, allowing them to maximize the among of knowledge and skills being gained and learnt, which eventually leads them to have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 understanding of the work being done effectively, concluding them to become better and
gain
Use synonyms
 a better job.
Therefore
Linking Words
, job competition does increase the
qualification
Use synonyms
 levels of young
people
Use synonyms
, as the better the
qualification
Use synonyms
 the better the job.
Submitted by maliehagul86 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: