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Band 5

Many young people spend a lot of time on the internet without any parental supervison or control. What are some of the problems caused by unrestricted use of the internet?

#people #time #internet #supervison #control
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As technology increases rapidly,adults mostly spend their
time
Use synonyms
 on phones and it has been causing a lot of difficulties.
This
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 essay will examine the worries of using mobiles without parents' involvement and possible solutions to
this
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 problem. The two main issues of browsing on the internet are losing interest in studies and getting attacked to body problems when adults spend their
time
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 on mobile daily to play video games, watch movies
as well as
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 browse porn websites it leads to less focus on studies
as well as
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 it changes their personal behaviour.
For instance
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, most young people are involved in criminal cases and rape cases because of watching sex videos.
Also
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,when using cell phones continuously leads to several diseases
such
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 as ear and eye disease . by watching or browsing throughout the day without any gap automatically the eyes get red and water comes out from the eyeball and keeping the headsets all
the
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apply
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day got ear problems.Even though there are a lot of worries.
however
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 the advantages
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also
Add a missing verb
are also
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 there like know the technology easily.
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nevertheless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
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, Some possible solutions to
this
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 problem are parents should give a very limited amount of
time
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 to their child to use the net.
In addition
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, both mother and father spend
time
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 with their sons and daughters,By regularly checking what they are doing on the net and
also
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 by teaching some good values to the kids.
To conclude
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 ,Adults usually do a lot of things every day on the internet.Many difficulties will face in the near future when kids are addicted to smartphones
such
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 as losing focus on studies.
Submitted by mounikayerragonda on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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