Some languages are increasingly spoken in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly declining. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#languages #countries #usage #development

.Nowadays, television has a great influence on the younger generation globally, especially when it comes to watching

sports

. It can be seen that most

channels are promoting men-related games and activities, with people fighting for equal priority to

women

's items.

Although

men are physically stronger than

women

, to encourage lady society, girls'

sports

must be broadcasted equally with boys' competitions. My subsequent writing will elucidate the aforementioned viewpoints in detail.

It is clear that

Men's

shows have been primarily prioritized.

First,

since the rating of male

sports

is always higher than

women

's, more viewers mean more profit.

For example

, considering football , the SEA game football match in 2019 between Vietnam and Thailand, attracted a million viewers not only Vietnamese but

also

people around Asia to watch. The

producer got back a hundred million from the sponsorships and each view turns on the YouTube channel.

While

the figure for

women

’s matches was significantly lower. Giving men’s

sports

a higher priority is,

therefore

, a wise strategy to earn large profits and attract more investment.

However

, I would advocate that,

The

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

producers should extend the streaming time for female programs. Nowadays,

women

have ever more awareness of health, and Television is the easiest approach to transfer the sport's spirit to people,

thus

women

can be inspired by

sports

programs on

, and evaluate themselves by doing exercises to get healthier in life.

For instance

Women

athletes should have a chance to show their talents to the world, and with extended time on

, they can

have

Verb problem

make

show examples

more effort to contribute their talents to the country's

sports

. In conclusion,

Although

men's

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

shows can

make

Verb problem

have

show examples

more benefits than those of

women

, I am of the opinion that there should be greater equality in the coverage of men’s and

women

’s

sports

To conclude

although

the advantages of using a few languages are common globally, the importance of other languages must not be neglected.

Submitted by vinuachudevan on Sun Jun 11 2023

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Task Response

Task Response: The essay partially addresses the task by discussing the unequal coverage of men's and women's sports on television. However, the essay lacks a clear and consistent argument about whether this is a positive or negative development.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is weak and lacks clear organization. Some ideas are not fully developed and the essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

global linguistics
cultural heritage
diversity tapestry
economic growth
technological innovation
educational opportunities
linguistic imperialism
marginalizing
homogeneity
ecological knowledge
social cohesion
communication barriers
national unity

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