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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no b longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #b #attention
There is no doubt about the affective of advertising
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our lives, some
people
 opine that
this
 advertising has
successful
Add a missing verb
been successful
show examples
 to convince us to buy things,
while
 others opine the contrary, they believe that we got used to it,
therefore
,
people
 no longer pay attention to it. In
this
 essay I would like to discuss both views and give my opinion and elaborate more on
this
 and why I believe in
this
.
To begin
 with, advocates who say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
believe that the
people
 who set
this
 advertising they very
curful
Correct your spelling
careful
carful
 to affect us by choosing the right time and place, a vivid example
for
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of
show examples
 that (
food
Add a missing verb
isfood
show examples
 advertising ), they stream it in
lunch
Add an article
the lunch
a lunch
show examples
 break, because at
this
 time the person is looking for
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
 to eat , and when they see
for instance
 a burger meal with a good price, they will directly choose
this
 meal.
Therefore
, those who believe in the power of advertising, believe that it can affect us
unconcisly
Correct your spelling
unconsciously
.
On the other hand
,
people
 who agree with the idea that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
believe that all advertising
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the same and they only want to attract
people
 to buy their products,
furthermore
, they most
probablly
Correct your spelling
probably
 lie about the products,
therefore
 it has no longer affect
people
. In my opinion, I believe that sometimes advertising can
tempting
Wrong verb form
tempt
show examples
 us by the way they display the products,
therefore
, it can be convincing,
on the other hand
, some of the advertising does not have a new idea and it
look
Correct subject-verb agreement
looks
show examples
 like the others,
therefore
, it has no power on us.
Submitted by reemalbarhomi on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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