In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#countries #foods #food #effect #families #societies

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There is no room for doubt that in

this

Linking Words

contemporary society, eating plays an important role in shaping most of our aspects of life. Indeed, one topic that, to an extent, has raised worldwide controversy is some

people

Use synonyms

think that international

food

Use synonyms

which replaced traditional foods may

cause

Verb problem

have

show examples

a negative effect on families and societies. In my opinion, I disagree with

this

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statement

due to

Linking Words

those reason

Change the determiner

that reason

those reasons

show examples

which related to modern life and sanitation.

Firstly

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, international foods are inevitable because the

food

Use synonyms

is consistent with the fast-paced modern lifestyle. Clearly, Fast

food

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, which is fast and

not

Add a missing verb

does not

show examples

waste time to cook but easy to eat, is now suitable for

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

young

Correct word choice

younger

show examples

generations.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is witnessed

Change preposition

as the

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

clear advantage for

people

Use synonyms

nowadays who have a tendency to work intensively.

For instance

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, fast

food

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is now considered the most popular

food

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in America whose environment is active and accelerated.

Consequently

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, it is an effective way to receive sufficient nutrition for busy

people

Use synonyms

Secondly

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although

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such

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foreign nutriment is rumoured to be unsafe, it is standardized by strict quality by WHO. Clearly, to have a big influence on society now, its quality needs to overcome the sanitation law, which has been already

proved

Correct your spelling

proven

show examples

in the EU and the USA.

On the contrary

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, some strict

food

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looks even more toxic than the foreign one.

As a consequence

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, it may help

people

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adopt the strict environment more safely than going outside and keep a balanced diet as much as possible.

To conclude

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, considering the

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

in the above paragraphs, I suggest

people

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need to have an objective observation about fast

food

Use synonyms

Submitted by dongdangnguyensi on Mon Jun 12 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear logical structure and the ideas are not effectively connected.

task response

The introduction lacks a clear restatement of the prompt and the conclusion is too abrupt. Additionally, the response lacks depth and the ideas are not fully developed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.