IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #salaries #ceos #executives #workers
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Nowadays, there are many people who believe that salary for
CEOs
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 and
executives
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 should be paid
higher
Correct word choice
more
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 than those who
work
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 as normal workers. In fact, working in executive positions consists of a ton of responsibilities. In my opinion, I do agree that the amount of money they earn must be higher than other staff. There are many reasons why companies ought to provide
CEOs
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 and
executives
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 with extra money. Some obvious reasons are as follows. To start with, working as
executives
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 or
CEOs
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 are extremely responsible for different tasks that are stressful. People in
this
Linking Words
 position do not only manage only assigned tasks but they
also
Linking Words
 deal with company staff. Truly speaking, there are many
researches
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types of research
pieces of research
kinds of research
show examples
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrate
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 that
work
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 and people management
is resulted
Change to the active voice
results
has resulted
show examples
 in
stress
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 and
health
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 problems.
In addition
Linking Words
,
CEOs
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 and
executives
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 always devote themselves
forwork
Verb problem
to work
show examples
 and make it as successful as possible.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it definitely ruins their free time.
For example
Linking Words
, based on my
work
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 experience, as my position is an assistant director, I frequently have meetings with
executive
Add an article
the executive
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 team after 4 p.m. and the meetings were held
about
Change preposition
for about
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 two hours.
This
Linking Words
 means that I cannot go to
gym
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the gym
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 and quite often I had to call my personal trainer in order to cancel my training schedule. Without exercise,
stress
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 will probably increase since
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
 help your body to create adrenaline that can reduce
stress
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, spending too much time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
work
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 provides disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
health
Use synonyms
. It’s not only
stress
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 but
also
Linking Words
health
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 conditions
such
Linking Words
 as office syndrome, migraine headache, stomachache and so on. In conclusion,
according to
Linking Words
 many researches related to
health
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 issues,
stress
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 can lead to
health
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 problems.
Thus
Linking Words
,
CEOs
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 and
executives
Use synonyms
 should receive extra income as
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
compensation because the higher
position
Correct article usage
the position
show examples
 you
work
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, the more
stress
Use synonyms
 you have.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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task achievement
To improve task response, consider discussing counterarguments more thoroughly and addressing both sides of the debate to present a balanced view.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more detailed and diverse examples to support your main points, increasing the essay's relevance and depth.
coherence cohesion
You could enhance coherence by using more varied linking words and phrases to better guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that outlines the topic and the writer's stance, setting a good foundation for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Points are generally well-organized, with a clear logical flow from one paragraph to the next.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer's opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • executive compensation
  • income disparity
  • corporate governance
  • incentive structures
  • ethical considerations
  • competitive advantage
  • demotivation
  • pay structures
  • social inequality
  • talent acquisition
  • company culture
  • economic impact
  • leadership roles
  • employee morale
What to do next:
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