IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Study shows that many criminals have low levels of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

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The practice has shown that the majority of offenders do not have an
education
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.
Consequently
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, some
people
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 if prison starts to re-educate criminals, it can reduce the
crime
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rate
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. In my opinion, I agree with
this
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 statement because there are cases when
people
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 are forced to commit a
crime
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 because they had not found a job, but there are still examples when well-educated
people
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 have broken the law. One possible reason why
education
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 can help to decrease the
crime
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rate
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 is that educated
people
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 can find
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 to earn money. In fact, many gangsters grew up in unfavourable conditions, so they did not have any choice in how to build their future. After being educated in prison, offenders can guarantee they can earn money legally. Another reason why
education
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 is more effective than punishment is that violence can increase the desire to commit a
crime
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 after releasing back into the community. Having been educated,
people
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 can improve their moral understanding and look at their behaviour from a new angle.
Such
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people
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 usually can reduce their time in prison and be released from jail as soon as possible.
Although
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education
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 is a working way to decrease the
crime
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rate
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, there are still well-educated criminals.
Such
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 offenders usually commit money fraud or have corrupt deals. Unfortunately, these cases demand another approach because these types of
people
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 cannot be re-educated. In conclusion,
while
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people
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 argue about whether
education
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 in prisons helps decrease the
crime
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rate
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, In my opinion, not only can it help improve the prisoners' literate, but it can
also
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 support them to find a job and try to adapt to society.
However
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, there are
people
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 who cannot stop doing violence even if they have knowledge or not.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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