Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Many

people

believe that

music

is a wonderful way to

conect

Correct your spelling

connect

everyone in every

countries

Change to a singular noun

country

show examples

together, no

distinguising

Correct your spelling

distinguishing

about

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

or ethnicity. In my opinion, I completely agree with

this

comment. One of the reasons

music

excretes the barriers among different nations and

cultures

is that

people

enjoy

music

from every part of the world.

Music

does not need any knowledge to be enjoyed and understood if we just want to enjoy the melody. We appreciate the melody and depth of

music

, that

are

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the reason why

people

of all ages can together and enjoy the same

music

Moreover

, the more

music

are

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show examples

produced and the more type of musical instruments can be used.

This

can

reduces

Change the verb form

reduce

show examples

cultural differences and brings

people

from different

cultures

and ages to a common platform.

For example

, many

music

genres, that we enjoy these days, were derived from multiple nations and

cultures

and

people

from all these

cultures

enjoy and

love

them.

Finally

music

is an art which is enjoyed by all, and

this

helps reduce the generation and age gaps among

people

. To illustrate, when the national anthem is played, children, adults and elders all tune to the same emotion, and their relationship is stronger than ever.

Music

can show various emotions like

love

, sadness and so on. Many

love

music

can inspire the meaning of

love

for someone who

are

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show examples

emotioness

Correct your spelling

emotional

, sometimes can encourage the person who lost something important sometime in the past. In conclusion,

music

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can enrich our lives and strengthen the connections between

humans'

Change noun form

humans

show examples

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

, regardless of our culture and age.

Submitted by trancaomaitrang on Mon Jun 12 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Scientists and technology expert seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Air transport is increasingly used to export fruit and vegetables to countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative

some people believe that all students should be made to have unpaid job in their free time.Do you agree or disagree?