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Band 4

Behavior in school is getting worse.Explain the causes and the effects of this problems,and suggest some possible solutions.

#behavior #school #effects
Even the activities at
school
 are changing for the worse. The essay will first suggest that the biggest problem caused by
these phenomenon
Change the determiner
this phenomenon
these phenomena
show examples
 is disorder and bad
up bringing
Correct your spelling
upbringing
show examples
 of
children
 and
then
 submit
strengthen
Wrong verb form
strengthening
show examples
discipline
 and raising
children
 as the most viable solution. It is undeniable that there are some serious
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
violation
Correct article usage
the violation
show examples
 of the established order in schools because schools give freedom for everything.
As a result
, students are going down the wrong path with
this
 bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. The other major point bad
up bringing
Correct your spelling
upbringing
show examples
 in
children
 because their environment and education at home is like that, so they are in the same at
school
. If the education given in the family is not changed the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in the
school
 will continue to
be disturb
Change the verb form
be disturbed
show examples
. There
several
Add a missing verb
are several
show examples
 actions that could be taken the solve the problems described above.
Firstly
 a simple solution
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
would be
increase
Fix the infinitive
to increase
show examples
discipline
 because
discipline
 is strong
school
 activities will not be disturbed. If
such
 measures are not taken it will lead to a situation.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 make students obey the rules of the
school
. Take strict action if
this
discipline
 is not followed. In summary,the root cause of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in
school
 is getting worse is
disorderlines
Correct your spelling
disorderliness
disorder lines
 and uneducated pupils and
this
 issue keeps giving
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
birth to circulate globally as long as invent a new
discipline
 and show
well behaved
Add a hyphen
well-behaved
show examples
children
 as an example are not taken.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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