WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
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The bar chart compares the numbers of
two
Use synonyms
genders of employed people in seven different jobs in Australia in the past year.
It is clear that
Linking Words
the male gender has the highest rate of employed ones when compared to women. Of the seven jobs, clerical is the one which has a more balanced rate between the
two
Use synonyms
. First of all, tradespeople have the highest figure shown on the chart, in terms of men's employment, with nine hundred thousand, followed by clerical with 800 000 men.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, labourers were the job type with the lowest numbers of men, with features around 400 000. Regarding the female gender, the graph illustrates the highest feature in clerical employment with values of approximately a million.
Next,
Linking Words
it can be seen that professionals come in second place with seven hundred thousand females.
Lastly
Linking Words
, there are
two
Use synonyms
job types less popular among women which presented the lowest features in the chart with equal values of 100 000. These
two
Use synonyms
refer to tradespeople and production jobs.
Submitted by acarina.simoes on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words two with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employed persons
  • job type
  • sex
  • employment figures
  • gender distribution
  • full-time
  • part-time
  • casual
  • professionals
  • managers
  • technicians
  • service workers
  • clerical staff
  • laborers
  • skilled trades
  • predominantly
  • discrepancy
  • proportionally
  • sectors
  • industries
  • dominance
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