IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart illustrates the number of people from history museums, British museums, national museums and science museums who visited different museums in London.

The chart illustrates the number of people from history museums, British museums, national museums and science museums who visited different museums in London.
The chart illustrates the number of
people
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 from history
museums
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, British
museums
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, national
museums
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 and science
museums
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 who visited different
museums
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 in London. The line graph illustrates the proportion
of
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apply
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the percentage of
people
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 of different
age
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groups
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 who went to the cinema once a month or more in one European country from 2000 to 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
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 in the 15-24 years old
age
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 group have reached a speaking percentage climb compared to other
age
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groups
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.
while
Linking Words
age
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groups
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 from 35 and over had hit the lowest point. Talking about the
age
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 group 15-24, from 2006 to 2009, the number of
people
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 who went to the cinema once a month fluctuated, reaching a peak in 2010.
age
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groups
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 7-14 and 25-35 go up. 7-14
and
Correct word choice
apply
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25-35 years old from 2007 to 2011 year, 7-14
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 old tended to increase,
while
Linking Words
 from 25 - 35 years old, from 2007 to 2011 it decreased by 10% and
then
Linking Words
 increased again to the original state of 30%. from 35 and over is the lowest compared to the other
groups
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 and increases steadily, the highest in 2011 is 12%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, museums, age, groups with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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