The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group.

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group.
The provided table enumerates the populace of New Zealand in the years 2011 and 2012.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that the alterations between the given period were not too high,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
a drastic change
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
for the age group
ranked
Correct your spelling
ranged
show examples
from 65 and
further
. It is undeniable that the highest index was shown in 2012, including all ages it was over 4
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
,
whereas
the lowest figure is seen to be eventuated in 2011 among people aged 65 and more. The
significative
Replace the word
significance
show examples
reached only five hundred
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
,
however
, almost doubled just in a year and had the highest number in the percentage change. Turning to the details,
while
the statistics of other age groups were increasing, for individuals under 15 and for those aged from 15 to 39 it worked in a completely opposite way. The digits decreased
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
thousands.
Moreover
, it has to be noticed that the numerals of people aged from 40 to 64, and ones of all ages grew
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the same amount of 60
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
by 2012.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: