The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in different years

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #years

The given two pie charts illustrate six categories of

devices

which are used by Canadian people to watch television between the 18 and 25 age group from 2009 to 2019.Units are measured in percentage. It is noticeable that the proportion of used conventional

and laptop experienced a considerable fall after 10 years ,

while

this

figure for mobile phones and tablets witnessed an upward trend from 2009 to 2019.

According to

information in the first

year

Add a comma

,year

show examples

34%and 20% of the average

devices

of Canadian users rate went on conventional

and laptop .

However

, by 2019, the percentage of

devices

(conventional

and laptop) had fallen 4%and 12% respectively.

By contrast

,in terms of flat-screen

,the proportion of using

this

category accounted for 8% in 2009,after 10 years,

this

figure saw a sharp increase to 27 per cent.The smallest proportion of using

devices

belonged to tablets in the first year.,

However

in 2019,there was a 14 per cent rise from 5%to 19% ,in

this

category equalled that of a tablet

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Tue Jun 13 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words devices, tv with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

168 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in different years

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

People have differing views with regard to the question of how to make our roads safer. In my view, both punishments and a range of other measures can be used together to promote better driving habits.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. What extent do you agree or disagree?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world?