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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The maps below show the layouts of nature Museum between 2010 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The maps below show the layouts of nature Museum between 2010 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The purpose of
this
Linking Words
 report is to provide data pertaining to changes which took place in
Correct article usage
the nature
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nature
Correct your spelling
Nature
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 between 2010 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, the pictures
has
Change the verb form
have
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 became/become much more developed, with the construction of more facilities for entertainment purposes.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
 the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2010 and 2013, the
Museum
Use synonyms
 still remain
some
Change preposition
in some
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 positions.
Firstly
Linking Words
. from the entrance, there was a lobby and
also
Linking Words
 the ticket desk in the same area. Next to it, there was a place for the Dinosaurs.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the lobby, the
Museum
Use synonyms
 has
the
Correct article usage
a
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 door which leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Ocean Hall. In 2010, the Mammals which was adjoining the Dinosaurs
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 knocked down and replaced by the Ice Age in 2013. Another striking change is the garden in the
easthern
Correct your spelling
eastern
 of the area, which was planted in 2010. After that, the
Museum
Use synonyms
 decided to
built
Change the form of the verb
build
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to
Change preposition
apply
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some entertainment facilities in the year 2013, which includes
the
Correct article usage
a
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 shop, cafe and Human
Ongins
Correct your spelling
Origins
 Display. The
last
Linking Words
 change is that the place of Mamals,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was erected in the same area
of
Change preposition
as
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 the entertainment facilities.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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