IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The maps below show the layouts of nature Museum between 2010 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The maps below show the layouts of nature Museum between 2010 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#maps #show #layouts #nature #museum #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The purpose of
this
 report is to provide data pertaining to changes which took place in
Correct article usage
the nature
show examples
nature
Correct your spelling
Nature
show examples
Museum
 between 2010 and 2013.
Overall
, the pictures
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 became/become much more developed, with the construction of more facilities for entertainment purposes.
To begin
 with,
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
 the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2010 and 2013, the
Museum
 still remain
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
 positions.
Firstly
. from the entrance, there was a lobby and
also
 the ticket desk in the same area. Next to it, there was a place for the Dinosaurs.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the lobby, the
Museum
 has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 door which leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Ocean Hall. In 2010, the Mammals which was adjoining the Dinosaurs
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 knocked down and replaced by the Ice Age in 2013. Another striking change is the garden in the
easthern
Correct your spelling
eastern
 of the area, which was planted in 2010. After that, the
Museum
 decided to
built
Change the form of the verb
build
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some entertainment facilities in the year 2013, which includes
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 shop, cafe and Human
Ongins
Correct your spelling
Origins
 Display. The
last
 change is that the place of Mamals,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was erected in the same area
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the entertainment facilities.
Submitted by gianglam.vn92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words museum with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: