IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

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As the food and beverage industry's expansion becomes more apparent. Unquestionably, the vast majority of
people
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 like consuming sugary beverages.
This
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 essay will explain why
this
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 occurs and will show how to solve the issue in a few different ways. In terms of the main
reason
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reasons
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 behind the increase in sugary beverage consumption, the main ones are sugar and caffeine, which have two more addictive properties than most sugary
drinks
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. These substances provide
people
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 with an immediate source of
energy
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 that helps them focus more effectively at work.
For example
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,
people
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 drink
energy
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drinks
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 when they feel dead tired.
However
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, they
also
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 lead to a rapid loss of
energy
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 after drinking, so you have to have another drink for an extra boost of
energy
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.
In addition
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, these
drinks
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, which have many
colors
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colours
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 and
flavors
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flavours
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, stimulate the eyes and
taste
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tastes
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 of young
people
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. For the sample, Pessi customers noticed that young
people
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 gradually got into the habit of drinking healthy
drinks
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 to lose weight because they quickly launched low-sugar products to catch up with
this
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 trend. To counteract these factors, some measures must be taken.
First,
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the government should levy a heavy tax on
drinks
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 with added sugar or other sweeteners. With the increase in the prices of these products, their sales will drop significantly, which in turn will reduce the consumption of sugary
drinks
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 by customers.
For example
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, the UK, France, Mexico, and Thailand have started taxing these
drinks
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 with high tax prices to reduce demand. Another solution could be to limit advertising that promotes sugary
drinks
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, especially on TV channels or on billboards.
Instead
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, programs will be broadcast highlighting the potential health risks of sugary
drinks
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 to educate consumers. In conclusion, many
people
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 drink them over water these days. Even though it is appealing to the appetite it comes up with a lot of health issues in the future. The above-mentioned measures can control the intake of
this
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 type of libation to an extent

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task response
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Use real-life examples, data, or statistics to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use cohesive devices such as transition words and linking phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
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