IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
#bar #numbers #men #women #courses #adult #education #centre #year #information #ages #course #participants #summarise #features #comparisons
The bar chart illustrates the information about gender joining various courses in the evening at an adult education centre in 2009 and the pie chart presents the proportion of ages of the attendants.
Overall
, it can be seen that most activities
were join
Change the verb form
were joined
show examples
 by females more than males and most of them were 50
years
 old or above.
According to
 the bar chart, it’s clear that women
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
 in language 40
persons
, followed by painting, drama, and sculpture, with the figures being 30, 20 and 5
persons
.
On the contrary
,
painting
Add an article
the painting
show examples
 was the highest number interested by men with 25
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
, come after by language
20
Change preposition
with 20
show examples
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
. Interestingly, the figure of drama and sculpture are similar with 10
persons
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 each course. Apparently, the highest number of attendant ages was occupied by
elder
Add an article
an elder
show examples
 with 50
years
 old or over,
while
 the youngest people
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20
years
 old
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the least attended.
In addition
, the middle ages in both 30-39 and 40-49
years
 old participated
16
Change preposition
at 16
show examples
% and 26% respectively.
Submitted by foamary41 on

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, persons with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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