IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#places #people #canada #summaries #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given bar chart serves data about the
number
 of
people
 who go to some public areas in Canada based on where they come from. The chart clearly shows that
Cinema
 is the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
go-to place visited by some
people
,
besides
, Theatre is the least
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number
 of visitors. Even though most
people
 love going to the
Cinema
, the New Migrants
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
born in other countries mostly
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
tend to go to the Library, it is clear from the charts that show approximately 55% of them choose to go to the library (the highest percentage). The
number
 is followed by the
Cinema
 which
5
Add a missing verb
is 5
show examples
% lower.
On the other hand
, the new Migrants born in English-speaking countries are following the trend of the local
people
 who love to go to the
cinema
, they are in second place in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
number
 of
cinema
 visitors (65%),
moreover
, they are
also
goingalso
Correct your spelling
going also
 went to the Zoo as their 2nd favourite place (50%) Meanwhile, only 43% of the Zoo's visitors are locals, which is lower than the
number
 of new migrants born in English-speaking countries.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, cinema with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: