Discuss the causes of rising unemployment in some regions or countries and the potential effects of them on society.

#unemployment #regions #countries #effects #society

There are many problems in the world. One of the big problems is rising unemployment in some regions. There are many reasons for

this

problem

. Nowadays the number of

people

is increasing and it is affecting our society so badly.

Besides

, there is not enough employment for young

people

. To tell the truth, young generations are our future and we should focus on their life and behaviour. Unemployment is increasing day by day so we should find a solution to

this

problem

On the other hand

, these days many children do not want to study in school or go to extra lessons. Their parents should give them attention and be hard on them. If they do not give them attention, their children can not find the role of life. If someone has a good experience in any work, they can easily find a job. The main

problem

is many

people

have not

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

good knowledge about jobs.

In addition

this

problem

Verb problem

has

show examples

affected our society badly so

that is

why most

people

feel hungry and do not have enough money to do useful things.

Also

, many children do have not enough food to eat, possibly learning about the subject.

To conclude

, the government should help every poor or unemployed person. If we help them our society

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be better

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on Tue Jun 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure

Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Consider organizing your points into clear paragraphs, each with a central idea.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has both an introduction and a conclusion, but they are not fully developed or clear. Work on introducing the topic and providing a definitive summary of your points in the conclusion.

supported main points

The points you make in support of your argument need to be more developed and specific. Provide clear examples or evidence.

complete response

You have addressed the task but your response is incomplete and lacks development. Expand on your ideas and provide a deeper analysis of the causes and effects of unemployment.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your ideas are present but not coherently expressed or expanded. Clarify your points and enhance the comprehensiveness of your arguments.

relevant specific examples

Your essay lacks specific examples to bolster your arguments. Include relevant, specific examples to support your claims about unemployment and its effects on society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

220 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
From the former time until now, it is a normal behaviour that people care about owning a home because habitation gives privacy and security to humans which in this changing world can be helpful and hopeful. A good example of this would be extremely increase rate of rentability houses in New York in recent years. In some countries, being a landlord is more important than being a tenant for individuals. Personally, I believe that this viewpoint is a beneficial situation.
6.5
band
Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countryside.
In the current era of globalisation, there has been a paradigm shift in migration patterns, with an increasing number of rural inhabitants opting for an urban lifestyle. Choosing a place to reside has been a great concern since ancient times. While urbanisation is the buzzword of the day, some believe that city life is the ideal way to thrive, while others prefer rural life. Let us delve into the advantages and disadvantages of living in a city compared to the countryside.
5
band
Some people think that government should not give international aid since they have disadvantages people like unemployment and homeless in their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Global relationships should be needed for any kind of help and development. In this ,case the international connection will be strong and our humanitarian and goodwill will be getting value for any kind of natural disaster and economic help. On my ,side I totally disagree about this statement.
6.5
band
Some people believe that children should receive compulsory education at public schools while others prefer private schools. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
These days, many children's education is, undoubtedly, not only global but also a universal issue among people. Mothers always seeking ways to enhance their offspring's knowledge and class efficiency. The vast majority of the population ponders that children must survey at community institutions with their other peers in the compulsory education system . But others do not think so. They believe if the young generation studies at private faculty, their efficiency and productivity will be improved. Let me through some lights with lucid examples.
7
band
Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the 21st century, human life became more complex and materialistic in nature whereby people always seek for new ways of leisure. For instance, some people supported that entertainment programs boosted people's innovations but others conducted that it will curtail humans peaceful existence. In this essay,I will explain both views with relevant examples.

Discuss the causes of rising unemployment in some regions or countries and the potential effects of them on society.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countryside.

Some people think that government should not give international aid since they have disadvantages people like unemployment and homeless in their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should receive compulsory education at public schools while others prefer private schools. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.