Discuss the causes of rising unemployment in some regions or countries and the potential effects of them on society.

#unemployment #regions #countries #effects #society

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There are many problems in the world. One of the big problems is rising unemployment in some regions. There are many reasons for

this

problem

. Nowadays the number of

people

is increasing and it is affecting our society so badly.

Besides

, there is not enough employment for young

people

. To tell the truth, young generations are our future and we should focus on their life and behaviour. Unemployment is increasing day by day so we should find a solution to

this

problem

On the other hand

, these days many children do not want to study in school or go to extra lessons. Their parents should give them attention and be hard on them. If they do not give them attention, their children can not find the role of life. If someone has a good experience in any work, they can easily find a job. The main

problem

is many

people

have not

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

good knowledge about jobs.

In addition

this

problem

Verb problem

has

show examples

affected our society badly so

that is

why most

people

feel hungry and do not have enough money to do useful things.

Also

, many children do have not enough food to eat, possibly learning about the subject.

To conclude

, the government should help every poor or unemployed person. If we help them our society

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be better

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on Tue Jun 13 2023

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logical structure

Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Consider organizing your points into clear paragraphs, each with a central idea.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has both an introduction and a conclusion, but they are not fully developed or clear. Work on introducing the topic and providing a definitive summary of your points in the conclusion.

supported main points

The points you make in support of your argument need to be more developed and specific. Provide clear examples or evidence.

complete response

You have addressed the task but your response is incomplete and lacks development. Expand on your ideas and provide a deeper analysis of the causes and effects of unemployment.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your ideas are present but not coherently expressed or expanded. Clarify your points and enhance the comprehensiveness of your arguments.

relevant specific examples

Your essay lacks specific examples to bolster your arguments. Include relevant, specific examples to support your claims about unemployment and its effects on society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

220 words

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Discuss the causes of rising unemployment in some regions or countries and the potential effects of them on society.

Fully explain your ideas

Why do many people visit museums when they travel to different countries or cities?

More and more people relying on private vehicles as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problem overreliances on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

The apartment that you have rented was repaired recently. Later, you discovered some defects in repairs. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter explain what the problem is suggest how it can be fixed say what you would like the landlord to do about it.

The best way to improve children’s life is fathers and mothers attending course for parenting and child development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.