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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows that the persentage of Australian export to four countries from 1990 to 2012

The graph below shows that the persentage of Australian export to four countries from 1990 to 2012
#persentage #australian #export #four #countries
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The report illustrates percentages of export business of Australia to 4 different countries from 1990 to 2012. Generally speaking, China's highest projection is in 2012,
while
Linking Words
 its lowest is
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 to 1995.
While
Linking Words
 for
Japan
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
started with a good reputation in the early
90's
Change noun form
90s
show examples
 but have a bit dive starting
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1995.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Use synonyms
states
Correct your spelling
States
show examples
 gone through a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
 ups and downs over the years
while
Linking Words
India
Use synonyms
starting
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 with the lowest percentage at the beginning of 1990 and
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 in the lowest position in 2012. From 1990 to 2000, China had an increment
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 5% rather than
India
Use synonyms
 only remained at 0% level.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Use synonyms
states
Correct your spelling
States
show examples
 start off with
reputable
Correct article usage
a reputable
show examples
 percentage
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 25% and 11% but
Japan
Use synonyms
's
stocks
Change the noun form
stock
show examples
 market
begin
Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
show examples
 to drop gradually and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the United
Use synonyms
states
Correct your spelling
States
show examples
 the stocks
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 a little bit of increment by 2%. From 2000 to 2012, China's stock market
skyrocketing
Wrong verb form
skyrocketed
show examples
 starting from the year of 2000 until 2010 and
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
further
Linking Words
 increment to 27% by 2012.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
India
Use synonyms
's stock begin to
mushroomed
Wrong verb form
mushroom
show examples
 until 2010 and slightly dropped by the year of 2012 and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
's
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
stock market begin to fall gradually to 18%
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
similar cases for the United
States
Use synonyms
 faced
sudden
Correct article usage
a sudden
show examples
 drop until 2010 and rises about 2% defeated
India
Use synonyms
 by 2012.
Submitted by amranhannani on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, states, india with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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