IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays, people all over the world are spending more and more time apart from their families. Why is this happening? How does this affect people and their fomilioc)

#people #world #time #families #affect #fomilioc
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Because of
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future and lifestyle, mass migration can be seen these days. Moving to another country overweigh other aspects,
although
Linking Words
 a crucial part of
relation
Add an article
the relation
show examples
 of their
life
Use synonyms
 is being challenged. In
this
Linking Words
 decade,
due to
Linking Words
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
show examples
 of technology, people have broadened
vision
Correct pronoun usage
their vision
show examples
. A
person
Use synonyms
 who chooses to achieve their goals, shifting to
metropolis
Correct article usage
a metropolis
show examples
 for higher education in
renowned
Add an article
a renowned
show examples
 university.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, which
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
show examples
 better job opportunities and
future
Correct article usage
a future
show examples
 in business. If a
person
Use synonyms
 might invest
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
years in
hard-work
Correct your spelling
hard work
show examples
,
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 probable
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
he
Add a missing verb
is he
show examples
 would gain a lifestyle, like; modern facilities and infrastructure. Somehow, people may have more inclination toward
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 rather than spending quality time with family. At
blooming
Add an article
a blooming
the blooming
show examples
 stage, a
person
Use synonyms
 is achieving all the basic needs,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 an integral part of their
life
Use synonyms
 can be
deal
Change the form of the verb
dealing
show examples
 with
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 of stress or regret. To elaborate, during special occasions and moments, a regret of not being part of a family might not be complete a
person
Use synonyms
. A sense of stress can be seen
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because no one will be there to understand or appreciate.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a generational gap
taking
Wrong verb form
takes
show examples
 place in families , where both sides would
deprived
Change the verb form
deprive
show examples
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 learning from each other.
To sum up
Linking Words
, for living a better
life
Use synonyms
, there is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 other feasible option for potential
life
Use synonyms
 seekers
instead
Linking Words
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a thin layer of deprivation from moral values and
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
 in-between challenging families.
Submitted by itzgurpreetsingh1 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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