Nowadays, people all over the world are spending more and more time apart from their families. Why is this happening? How does this affect people and their fomilioc)

Because of
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
future and lifestyle, mass migration can be seen these days. Moving to another country overweigh other aspects,
although
a crucial part of
relation
Add an article
the relation
show examples
of their
life
is being challenged. In
this
decade,
due to
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
show examples
of technology, people have broadened
vision
Correct pronoun usage
their vision
show examples
. A
person
who chooses to achieve their goals, shifting to
metropolis
Correct article usage
a metropolis
show examples
for higher education in
renowned
Add an article
a renowned
show examples
university.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, which
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
show examples
better job opportunities and
future
Correct article usage
a future
show examples
in business. If a
person
might invest
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
years in
hard-work
Correct your spelling
hard work
show examples
,
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
probable
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
he
Add a missing verb
is he
show examples
would gain a lifestyle, like; modern facilities and infrastructure. Somehow, people may have more inclination toward
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
rather than spending quality time with family. At
blooming
Add an article
a blooming
the blooming
show examples
stage, a
person
is achieving all the basic needs,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
an integral part of their
life
can be
deal
Change the form of the verb
dealing
show examples
with
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
of stress or regret. To elaborate, during special occasions and moments, a regret of not being part of a family might not be complete a
person
. A sense of stress can be seen
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because no one will be there to understand or appreciate.
Therefore
, a generational gap
taking
Wrong verb form
takes
show examples
place in families , where both sides would
deprived
Change the verb form
deprive
show examples
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
learning from each other.
To sum up
, for living a better
life
, there is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
other feasible option for potential
life
seekers
instead
.
Moreover
, a thin layer of deprivation from moral values and
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
in-between challenging families.
Submitted by itzgurpreetsingh1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: