Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports. What is the reason for this? it is a negative or positive development?

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Technological advances in children’s entertainment have been spread widely, and it is quite addicting.

However

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, the reason offspring prefer playing

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

rather than sports is the convenience of playing digital

games

Use synonyms

This

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essay will elaborate on the negative impacts caused by

this

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phenomenon. The main cause of kids’ addiction to playing

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

is they give kids satisfaction and end up as addiction.

Although

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kids sit in front of their computers all day, they are satisfied without getting tired physically.

For example

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, my

twelve-years

Correct your spelling

twelve-year-old

show examples

nephew could spend three hours in a row playing his PS5 and only took a 10-minute (adjective) break to eat, and started again. The great visuals and movement provide players with great gaming experiences. Meanwhile, the satisfaction comes from levelling up and it triggers children to play until reach the highest level.

Thus

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, it is hindering children

to play

Change preposition

from playing

show examples

outside like people did 20 years ago. Indeed,

this

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is a negative development for children’s growth phase.

Moreover

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this

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age range is the perfect period to learn and exercise their body

such

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as in gymnastics,

basket

Correct your spelling

basketball

show examples

, or ballet. Because of their addiction to the digital world, they could not achieve

this

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golden period.

For instance

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, there is a viral

video

Use synonyms

showing a child screaming because his mother took the computer before he finished his school task. It is the best representative of the negative impact that children could have.

Consequently

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, the child’s health will undeveloped and

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

follow real-life activities. In conclusion, the convenience and satisfaction of playing

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

play a pivotal role in children’s activity

preference

Fix the agreement mistake

preferences

show examples

Therefore

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, unless parents take full control of their kids’ activities, they will have several issues in health and growth aspects.

sidneynatasha16Tue Jun 13 2023

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task response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons children prefer playing video games over sports, and it concludes that it is a negative development. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced approach, considering both the positive and negative aspects of this trend.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly state the position of the essay. The main points are supported and explained with relevant examples. However, there are certain points where the coherence and cohesion could be improved for better flow and organization of ideas.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports. What is the reason for this? it is a negative or positive development?

When talking about success, we often think of people who are rich or famous. In your opinion, what are the qualities that characterise a successful person? Why do you think these should be the criteria?

In today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. this accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is better for children to study in the city, while other think that education in the countryside is more suitable for them. Discuss both view and give your opinion

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage money. Others argue that it is bette to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinion in this?