Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports. What is the reason for this? it is a negative or positive development?

#children #time #computer #games #sports #reason #development

Technological advances in children’s entertainment have been spread widely, and it is quite addicting.

However

, the reason offspring prefer playing

video

games

rather than sports is the convenience of playing digital

games

This

essay will elaborate on the negative impacts caused by

this

phenomenon. The main cause of kids’ addiction to playing

video

games

is they give kids satisfaction and end up as addiction.

Although

kids sit in front of their computers all day, they are satisfied without getting tired physically.

For example

, my

twelve-years

Correct your spelling

twelve-year-old

show examples

nephew could spend three hours in a row playing his PS5 and only took a 10-minute (adjective) break to eat, and started again. The great visuals and movement provide players with great gaming experiences. Meanwhile, the satisfaction comes from levelling up and it triggers children to play until reach the highest level.

Thus

, it is hindering children

to play

Change preposition

from playing

show examples

outside like people did 20 years ago. Indeed,

this

is a negative development for children’s growth phase.

Moreover

this

age range is the perfect period to learn and exercise their body

such

as in gymnastics,

basket

Correct your spelling

basketball

show examples

, or ballet. Because of their addiction to the digital world, they could not achieve

this

golden period.

For instance

, there is a viral

video

showing a child screaming because his mother took the computer before he finished his school task. It is the best representative of the negative impact that children could have.

Consequently

, the child’s health will undeveloped and

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

follow real-life activities. In conclusion, the convenience and satisfaction of playing

video

games

play a pivotal role in children’s activity

preference

Fix the agreement mistake

preferences

show examples

Therefore

, unless parents take full control of their kids’ activities, they will have several issues in health and growth aspects.

Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on Tue Jun 13 2023

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task response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons children prefer playing video games over sports, and it concludes that it is a negative development. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced approach, considering both the positive and negative aspects of this trend.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly state the position of the essay. The main points are supported and explained with relevant examples. However, there are certain points where the coherence and cohesion could be improved for better flow and organization of ideas.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports. What is the reason for this? it is a negative or positive development?

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society.

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. Do you agree or disagree?

Some educators believe that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People doing dangerous sport activities like scuba driving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. other people believe it's good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.