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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#people #families #care #homes #trend
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It is true that over the
last
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 10 years, more and more adults tend to send their parents to
care
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 homes when they reach a certain age. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the perceived benefits and drawbacks of
this
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 tendency.
One
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 of the pros of
this
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 trend is that by sending the elderly to nursing homes families can lessen their daily expenses because taking
care
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 of grandparents can be costly and expensive;
therefore
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, by doing that they can save an amount of money which can be spent on other stuff
such
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 as paying for children's education.
Moreover
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, the cost of living has increased a lot, so both parents have to work in order to meet their basic needs;
thus
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, old people will be left alone and some of them can't even take
care
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 of themselves;
hence
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, it would be best to take them to
care
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 houses,
for example
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, a survey done in London about
care
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 home revealed that the elderly are satisfied with the services that they receive there. Despite the obvious appeal, there are various cons to
this
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 tendency, first of all, by putting the elderly away from home, children will have no
one
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 to take
care
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 of them,
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as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a consequence, parents are forced to hire someone to do
this
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 task for them which means extra charges.
Secondly
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, old traditions and values may get lost amongst the new generations as no
one
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 will be there to pass
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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to
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on to
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 them and
one
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 of the reasons for
that is
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 the fact that kids have zero contact with their grandparents.
To conclude
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, as I have discussed in
this
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 essay, there are a variety of advantages and disadvantages to
this
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 tendency.
Submitted by saberyouc on

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task response
Provide specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly defined and developed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Professional care
  • Medical attention
  • Trained staff
  • Social interaction
  • Combat loneliness
  • Safety and security
  • Relief for families
  • Loss of autonomy
  • Emotional impact
  • Cost
  • Financial strain
  • Quality of care
  • Neglect and abuse
  • Detachment from family
  • Mental wellbeing
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