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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people belive that the fast pace and stress of modren life is having a negative effect on families. To what extent do you aree or disagree?

#people #belive #pace #stress #modren #life #effect #families #aree
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I agree with
this
Linking Words
given
Verb problem
apply
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statement, which says that
life
Use synonyms
 is more stressful and busier. As a ,result it is opined by some masses
that is
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 having some negative effect on families. The main reason, why I believe
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 lifestyle effect negatively on each family is that nowadays, more people are spending less
time
Use synonyms
 on the family
due to
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 busy plans. The more society develops, the harder everyone has to work for better living conditions. In today's
world
Add a comma
world,
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 both parents are often working long hours, which leaves less
time
Use synonyms
 for them to spend together as a family.
This
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 can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness and it can make it difficult to build strong relationships. The fast pace of modern
life
Use synonyms
 can be very stressful and
this
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 stress can take a toll on family relationships. More stress can create a tense and unhealthy environment in the home. When families are busy and stressed , they may not have as much
time
Use synonyms
 to communicate with each other.
On the other hand
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, the origin of many stressful situations in the family
also
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 depends on the development of technology
that is
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, the Internet. Parents spend more
time
Use synonyms
 on the phone or the Internet than communicating with their children. Even if it is just for a few minutes each day, make sure to schedule some
time
Use synonyms
 to spend together as a family.
This
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 could involve eating dinner together going for walks or playing different games.
As a consequence
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, the family and households will be strong.
For instance
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, if a mother communicates for a few minutes each day with her child . It strengthens the child's self-confidence and makes him feel at ease. In conclusion, I reiterate my vehement belief that the rapid pace and stressful nature of present
life
Use synonyms
 are having
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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detrimental consequences on family relationships.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 modern
life
Use synonyms
 demands many things,
people
Correct word choice
and people
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 should not forget that love and affection for family are beyond everything.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details to enhance logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Provide a more focused introduction and conclusion that directly addresses the task prompt.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and effectively.
grammatical range
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, sentence structure, and use of punctuation for better clarity and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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