IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of volunteers in New Zealand who helped in sports organizations in 2010. The pie chart illustrates the number of volunteers doing different types of jobs for that same period. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of volunteers in New Zealand who helped in sports organizations in 2010. The pie chart illustrates the number of volunteers doing different types of jobs for that same period. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar
chart
Use synonyms
 depicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about volunteers in New Zealand
participated
Correct pronoun usage
who participated
show examples
 in
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 organizations and the pie
chart
Use synonyms
 presents the proportion of each
types
Change to a singular noun
type
show examples
 of
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
 in the year 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the percentage of a
couple
Add the preposition
ofcouple
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family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 with
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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dependent children was the highest number throughout the period and most of the participants had
supported
Replace the word
support
show examples
 in coaching and teaching.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar
chart
Use synonyms
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the biggest amount was occupied by a couple and dependent children with 49.8%, followed by
couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
show examples
 with no children, other households, and one parent, with the figure being 26.9%, 12.4%, and 10.9%, respectively. Moving on to the pie
chart
Use synonyms
, the lowest ratio of job
supported
Replace the word
support
show examples
 accounted for medical support with 62,700 which is almost 4 times
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
 than teaching support.
In addition
Linking Words
, there were another 3 types of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, comprising timekeeper, committee member, and referee or umpire were responsible for 128,000, 158,600, and 98,300 respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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