Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Recently,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
of large multinational
companies
significantly increased in some developed countries and developing countries.
This
circumstance can influence the
development
of small traders.
For
this
reason,
this
essay will discuss why the benefits of the
development
of large multinational
companies
outweigh the drawback. The existence of multinational corporations can provide many job vacancies
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because operating large
companies
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
more human resources to do it.
Hence
, the trend of multinational
companies
in a country will significantly decrease unemployment.
For instance
,
currently
Add a comma
,currently
show examples
the government of Indonesia is seeking investment from large
companies
in the world to invest in Indonesia, in order to decrease
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
rate which causes
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
impact of
pandemic
Add an article
a pandemic
the pandemic
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the significance of the
development
of multinational
companies
will influence the increased income of a country that receives tax
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
from multinational
companies
.
For example
, the largest income of Indonesian countries is 80% from tax multinational
companies
.
However
,
this
circumstance will impact small
businesses
. Many people want to work in large
companies
to earn a large salary.
Therefore
, many small
businesses
will have difficulty in finding employees. Why the large
companies
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
becoming the trend of employees to work there,
due to
the large
companies
giving the employees some facilities
such
as insurance, incentive, birth allowance etc.
Whereas
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small
businesses
operated by a traditional system
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are not as professional as systems like large
companies
.
For example
, many small
businesses
in Indonesia like traditional markets will collapse. In conclusion, the benefit of
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
of multinational
companies
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
show examples
rate and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
government income.
However
,
this
circumstance will cause the bankruptcy of small
businesses
.
Submitted by maqbul.mohammad.m on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Displacement
  • Economies of scale
  • Local economies
  • Standardization
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Personalized service
  • Innovation
  • Community investments
  • Environmental impact
  • Competitive prices
  • Tax contributions
  • Job losses
  • Cultural diversity
  • Local employment opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: