Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#businesses #companies #outweigh

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Use synonyms

development

Correct article usage

the development

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of large multinational

companies

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significantly increased in some developed countries and developing countries.

This

Linking Words

circumstance can influence the

development

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of small traders.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason,

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss why the benefits of the

development

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of large multinational

companies

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outweigh the drawback. The existence of multinational corporations can provide many job vacancies

Remove the comma

apply

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because operating large

companies

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needs

Change the verb form

need

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more human resources to do it.

Hence

Linking Words

, the trend of multinational

companies

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in a country will significantly decrease unemployment.

For instance

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currently

Add a comma

,currently

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the government of Indonesia is seeking investment from large

companies

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in the world to invest in Indonesia, in order to decrease

unemployment

Correct article usage

the unemployment

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rate which causes

Correct article usage

the

show examples

impact of

pandemic

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a pandemic

the pandemic

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, the significance of the

development

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of multinational

companies

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will influence the increased income of a country that receives tax

payment

Fix the agreement mistake

payments

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from multinational

companies

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For example

Linking Words

, the largest income of Indonesian countries is 80% from tax multinational

companies

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However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

circumstance will impact small

businesses

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. Many people want to work in large

companies

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to earn a large salary.

Therefore

Linking Words

, many small

businesses

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will have difficulty in finding employees. Why the large

companies

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are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

becoming the trend of employees to work there,

due to

Linking Words

the large

companies

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giving the employees some facilities

such

Linking Words

as insurance, incentive, birth allowance etc.

Whereas

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

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small

businesses

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operated by a traditional system

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are not as professional as systems like large

companies

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For example

Linking Words

, many small

businesses

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in Indonesia like traditional markets will collapse. In conclusion, the benefit of

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development

Add an article

the development

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of multinational

companies

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the

Correct article usage

show examples

decrease

Change preposition

show examples

unemployment

Add an article

the unemployment

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rate and

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

government income.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

circumstance will cause the bankruptcy of small

businesses

Use synonyms

Submitted by maqbul.mohammad.m on Wed Jun 14 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Displacement
Economies of scale
Local economies
Standardization
Cultural homogenization
Personalized service
Innovation
Community investments
Environmental impact
Competitive prices
Tax contributions
Job losses
Cultural diversity
Local employment opportunities

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Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that travel helps us to appreciate other cultures. How true is this statement? Do you think that people who travel a lot appreciate other cultures more than those who stay at home?

The internet and technology, like mobile phones and laptops, are connecting us to each other every hour of the day via networking sites and applications. Do you think it’s an advantage or disadvantage? Explain your answer. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is better to live and work in vertical cities. Others, however, think that horizontal cities are better for living and working. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?