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Band 5.5

Drug abuse is becoming a problem in our society. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?

#drug #abuse #society
Today
drug
abuse
 trends to increase causing many
problems
 in both individuals and communities. Understanding the true causes will significantly find the appropriate solutions to the problem. One of these issues comes from people's stress and mental health
problems
 that can lead to using drugs and becoming addicted.
According to
 the World Health Organization found that 80% of working-aged adults who have poor mental health
such
 as anxiety and depression usually reported
drug
abuse
. Another one of the root causes is some social acceptance like teenager groups. Beginning with trying the
drug
 which can result in addiction.
For instance
, the U.S. School Development Institute claimed that the top five reasons
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
drug
 users were persuaded by friends. The sustainable ways to fix the issue are education and
law
 enforcement. Education is the most effective solution to providing knowledge and awareness about
drug
 misuse to young children.
This
 will help the kids to understand and refuse the
drug
.
In addition
,
law
 enforcement
also
 plays a crucial role in solving the problem as it has serious penalties
such
 as fining, arresting, and execution.
For example
, Norway’s government set the
drug
abuse
 consequences in the curriculum and applied the
law
 leading to none of the
drug
 misusers who
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
 from minor children.
To sum up
,
while
drug
abuse
 is causing many
problems
 to society as its root causes come from individuals’ stress, education and applying the
law
 are suitable methods to give away the
problems
.
Submitted by amittawin on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a clear flow throughout. Consider using linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Clearly expand on how the suggested solutions can effectively address each specific cause of drug abuse presented in the essay.
task achievement
The essay covers both causes and solutions to drug abuse clearly, addressing the task requirements well.
task achievement
The use of statistical data and specific examples strengthens the arguments and makes the essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction and conclusion framing the discussion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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