Drug abuse is becoming a problem in our society. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?

Drug
abusing become terrible in society. The causes and solutions of
this
problem
will be explained in the following paragraph One of the most obvious reasons why
drugs
became a massive
problem
in U.S. society
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
drugs
can easily be found in any
neighborhoods
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neighborhood
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where people
living
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live
show examples
.
For instance
,
according to
a recent study
of
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by
show examples
the Faculty of Laws, at Harvard University, 80% of gangsters are involved with
drugs
and almost all
taken
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are taken
show examples
prisoner by
abusing
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abuse
show examples
.
Moreover
, in certain states, Laws that involve are not
that
Rephrase
apply
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strong enough to get rid of
drug
dealer
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dealers
show examples
or
drug
abuser
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abusers
show examples
.
This
causes habitual repeat
offense
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offence
show examples
and could get worse. To solve
this
problem
, the government should promote about negative
effect
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effects
show examples
of
drugs
and prevention to take citizens away from them. These allow commoners to have
a
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the
show examples
knowledge to avoid them. To illustrate
this
, a survey recently concluded by
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the NewYork
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NewYork
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New York
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Times revealed that
two-third
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two-thirds
show examples
of
drug
addict
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addicts
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in
U.S.
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the U.S.
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willingly do
a
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apply
show examples
therapy to be cured and
comeback
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come back
show examples
to society.
In addition
, choosing people to associate with is one of the most common ways to deal with the
problem
.
This
means if
environment
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the environment
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around that person
are
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is
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good. One will not
involve
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be involved
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with any illegal.
To conclude
,
Although
, the causes of
drug
abuse are
easiness
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easy
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of finding
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to find
show examples
as well as
weak punishment these lead to a massive
problem
. There are various solutions to deal with it
such
as promotion and fellowship.
Submitted by amittawin on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and data to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear link between your arguments and the examples you provide. This will enhance the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Add more linking phrases between sentences to improve flow.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that tie the essay together well.
task achievement
The essay discusses both causes and solutions, covering the task appropriately.
task achievement
You include relevant data and statistics which show you understand the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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