IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009.

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009.
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The provided pie charts illustrate the
electricity
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 generation in Germany and
France
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 during 2009. For each country, the first chart describes the proportion of
the
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apply
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electricity
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 sources, and the second chart reveals the ratio for each type of renewable
electricity
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, almost 60.0% of
electricity
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 in Germany
generated
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is generated
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 from conventional thermal,
then
Linking Words
 followed by nuclear and renewables, with 23.0% and 17.4% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
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France
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,France
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 only around 10.0% of
electricity
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generated
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is generated
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 from conventional thermal,
while
Linking Words
 nuclear generated approximately 76% of
electricity
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. The other source
for
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of
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 produced
electricity
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 in
France
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 was renewables, at 13.7 %. In Germany, biomass and wind had
relatively
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a relatively
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 similar proportion of renewable
electricity
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, about 80% combined.
In contrast
Linking Words
, roughly 80.0% of renewable
electricity
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 in
France
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 was hydroelectric, and only around 20% of wind and biomass
was
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as
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 renewable
electricity
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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