IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The map below shows the village of Stokefort in 1930 and 2010.

The map below shows the village of Stokefort in 1930 and 2010.
#village #stokefort
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The map illustrates how the
village
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 of Stokefort developed in the period of 80 years. In 1930,
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village
Add an article
the village
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 has its traditional form of life, consisting of farmlands to the
north east
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northeast
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 and south. Alongside the river, it was a path,
only
Correct pronoun usage
that only
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 connected the north to the South. Just off the main
road
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, there were a number of
houses
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 and shops
as well as
Linking Words
post
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a post
the post
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 office. In the eastern part of the river, there were a primary school and
also
Linking Words
 gardens, which led to large
houses
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. By 2010,
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village
Add an article
the village
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 had
underwent
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undergone
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 some changes. The
road
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 had more branches, all of which
surrounded
Add a missing verb
were surrounded
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 by
houses
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,so the number of
houses
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 had increased significantly. Gardens were removed,
while
Linking Words
 new large
houses
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 and retirement
home
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homes
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 were constructed,bringing access to the main
road
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 with one of the
road
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 branches. There were
also
Linking Words
 two
houses
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 adjunct
with
Change preposition
to
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primary
Correct article usage
the primary
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 school.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the path which used to connect gardens and river and
also
Linking Words
 the shops, near the
road
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,
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 removed.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
village
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 of Stokefort changed significantly from 1930 to 2010. There were extensive developments with regard to accommodation. Some
houses
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 and facilities like post
office
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offices
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 and primary
school
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schools
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 remained unchanged.
Submitted by f.farkhany71 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words village, road, houses with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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