Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is widely claimed that
parents
should have a responsibility to take care of their children.
However
, external factors are another main influence on the
child
's development. I totally agree with the statement, and my support will be elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in
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this
essay.
To begin
with, it might be reasonable for some to believe that individuals who are responsible for
child
raising should be both father and mother.
This
is probably because
parents
give birth to the
child
with their willingness and readiness.
However
, I personally believe that there are several outside influences which affect how a
child
grows up.
Parents
are able to fully take care of their
child
solely at the age before he/she studies at school. When students go to school or to the outside world, there are numerous factors which
parents
are unable to control
such
as friends, social media, and the internet.
Furthermore
, teenagers
addicted
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are addicted
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to their friends,
as
Correct word choice
and as
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a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
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they will trust their peers more than their
parents
and may perform some extreme behaviours which
parents
cannot avoid.
For example
, when I was a teenager, even though my
parents
prohibited me to sleep over at my friend’s house, I still did it because I was convinced by my friends. In conclusion,
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
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it is the main duty of
parents
to raise their
child
, I am of the opinion that outside factors
also
play a main role in how a
child
is developed.
Submitted by Partofyourworld on

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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