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Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#parents #child #influence #role #development
It is widely claimed that
parents
 should have a responsibility to take care of their children.
However
, external factors are another main influence on the
child
's development. I totally agree with the statement, and my support will be elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in
show examples
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, it might be reasonable for some to believe that individuals who are responsible for
child
 raising should be both father and mother.
This
 is probably because
parents
 give birth to the
child
 with their willingness and readiness.
However
, I personally believe that there are several outside influences which affect how a
child
 grows up.
Parents
 are able to fully take care of their
child
 solely at the age before he/she studies at school. When students go to school or to the outside world, there are numerous factors which
parents
 are unable to control
such
 as friends, social media, and the internet.
Furthermore
, teenagers
addicted
Add a missing verb
are addicted
show examples
 to their friends,
as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 they will trust their peers more than their
parents
 and may perform some extreme behaviours which
parents
 cannot avoid.
For example
, when I was a teenager, even though my
parents
 prohibited me to sleep over at my friend’s house, I still did it because I was convinced by my friends. In conclusion,
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
 it is the main duty of
parents
 to raise their
child
, I am of the opinion that outside factors
also
 play a main role in how a
child
 is developed.
Submitted by Partofyourworld on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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