The bar chart below shows information about heart attack by age and gender in the USA
The chart illustrates the incidence of
heart
attacks according to
gender and age
group (29-44, 45-64. 65 and above), in a year in the USA.
Overall
, according to
the chart, there was a significant
higher incidence of Change the adjective
significantly
heart
attack
in male
compared to women, and the older the Fix the agreement mistake
males
age
, the higher the risk of suffering from heart
attack
. Apart from that, there was a large difference in gender predisposition in middle group
people Add a hyphen
middle-group
suffered
from that disease.
With regards to Correct pronoun usage
who suffered
male
gender, the number of people Add an article
the male
suffered
from Correct pronoun usage
who suffered
heart
Add an article
a heart
attack
was only 123 thousand
in those aged between 29-44, but the figure rose drastically to 424 thousand
in 45
-64 Correct article usage
the 45
age
group, which then
increased further
and reach a peak of 440 thousand
in elderly over 65 years of age
.
In term
of women, the number of young Fix the agreement mistake
terms
adult
below 44 Change to a plural noun
adults
year
old that had Fix the agreement mistake
years
heart
attack
in that year was Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
lowest
, at only 3 Correct article usage
the lowest
thousand
. The number then
rocketed to 136 thousand
in those aged 45-64 and further
went up to more than double in elderly women.Submitted by emgmei on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words heart, age, attack, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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