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The bar chart below shows information about heart attack by age and gender in the USA

The bar chart below shows information about heart attack by age and gender in the USA
#bar #information #heart #attack #age #gender #usa
The chart illustrates the incidence of
heart
 attacks
according to
 gender and
age
 group (29-44, 45-64. 65 and above), in a year in the USA.
Overall
,
according to
 the chart, there was a
significant
Change the adjective
significantly
show examples
 higher incidence of
heart
attack
 in
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 compared to women, and the older the
age
, the higher the risk of suffering from
heart
attack
. Apart from that, there was a large difference in gender predisposition in
middle group
Add a hyphen
middle-group
show examples
 people
suffered
Correct pronoun usage
who suffered
show examples
 from that disease. With regards to
male
Add an article
the male
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 gender, the number of people
suffered
Correct pronoun usage
who suffered
show examples
 from
heart
Add an article
a heart
show examples
attack
 was only 123
thousand
 in those aged between 29-44, but the figure rose drastically to 424
thousand
 in
45
Correct article usage
the 45
show examples
-64
age
 group, which
then
 increased
further
 and reach a peak of 440
thousand
 in elderly over 65 years of
age
. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of women, the number of young
adult
Change to a plural noun
adults
show examples
 below 44
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 old that had
heart
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
 in that year was
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
, at only 3
thousand
. The number
then
 rocketed to 136
thousand
 in those aged 45-64 and
further
 went up to more than double in elderly women.
Submitted by emgmei on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words heart, age, attack, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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