IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families.Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side personally support.

#people #children #time #families #arguments #side #support
In modern life, it is
belived
Correct your spelling
believed
 that some
inividuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
according to
 many
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
 spend leisure time with family.
While
 others consider some people
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 like
this
 idea.Both views will be discussed ensuring paragraphs as
will
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
 as a personal conclusion will be provided. On the one hand,
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
of the fact
socialnetworks
Correct your spelling
social networks
 are covering a lot of youngsters.They are reading books
insteade
Correct your spelling
instead
 of playing online PUBG.Because of
this
, they are not spending time with family and they are
real world
Add a hyphen
real-world
show examples
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 interesting. On the other side of
coin
Add an article
the coin
show examples
 It is one of the ideal ideas that children spend most of their time in the family circle. Because the family environment
also
 affects education, and there is a big difference between a
child
 raised by his parents and a
child
 raised by his wife.
For example
, a
child
 who lived
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the life of a coach cannot think independently and cannot withstand life's tests.
To sum up
,
this
 essay discussed the main positive and negative sides. In my opinion every
child
 should live in a family circle.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: