IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people better education. Do you agree or disagree?

#prison #countries #crime #people #education
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People have different views about how to solve
problem
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the problem
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 of
crime
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. In many countries,
prison
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 is
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solution
Correct article usage
a solution
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 to tackle
violences
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violence
acts of violence
outbreaks of violence
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.
On the other hand
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,
good
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a good
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education
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 is more effective to reduce
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crime-rate
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crime rate
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. I firmly agree that better quality of
education
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 will be the best overcome to solve
crime
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 issues.
This
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 essay will elaborate
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this
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on this
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 and provide an example. Let’s start by looking at
prison
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 as not a good idea to solve
problem
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the problem
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 of
crime
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.
Prison
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 just provides
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solution
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a solution
the solution
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 for
Correct article usage
a short-time
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short-time
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short time
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, because there are more possibilities to repeat offenders. Take Mexico as a sample, their government either detention or rehabilitation of drug abuse cases, but they do
same
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the same
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 thing in the next future.
Hence
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,
by
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apply
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prisoning to solve
problem
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the problem
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 of
crime
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 it is not
well
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a well
the well
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solution
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 for
long-time
Correct article usage
a long-time
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 and it should be considered to determine
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solution
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the solution
a solution
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 to tackle a
crime
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. Turning to the
solve
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solution
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 for
reduce
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reducing
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crime
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 in
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country
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the country
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.
Education
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 is
best
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the best
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 way to decrease
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
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 in
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
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for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
long-term
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long term
show examples
.
By
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With
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 good
education
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 in
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country
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the country
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, they are taught in
the
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apply
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class how to be a good person and avoid to do
crime
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 in the social fabric. In fact, the result is effective to reduce
a
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apply
show examples
crime
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 in
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
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.
For example
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, Finland has the best quality of
education
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 in the world, and
their
Change the word
the
show examples
country
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 has succeeded to reduce
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
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, and even almost zero
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
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 each year
in
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apply
show examples
there.
Thus
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,
by
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apply
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improving better
education
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,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 inline to contribute
for
Change preposition
to
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 reducing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
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for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
.
Consequently
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,
by
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apply
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applying
prison
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 in
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country
Add an article
the country
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 just give
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solution
Add an article
a solution
show examples
 for the sort-time, because it can not alter offenders’ behaviour. Meanwhile, by providing good quality
of
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apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
, the
country
Use synonyms
 can invest to reduce
crime
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackles root causes
  • preventative approach
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making skills
  • recidivism rates
  • equipping
  • socio-economic benefits
  • underlying factors
  • poverty
  • ignorance
  • lack of opportunities
  • rehabilitation
  • ineffective
  • higher rates of re-offending
What to do next:
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