IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many people believe that countries should produce food for the whole population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #food #population #import
I certainly agree that most nations must produce
food
 for their population first before using them for trade, since there are several ways to improve a
country
's revenue, and the
food
 industry should not be the one which takes part in it.
Firstly
, governments can trade goods and resources for improving their financial funds, but in the current situation where we are facing numerous global threats like deforestation, water scarcity, etc., there is a great possibility that in
our
Change the word
the
show examples
 future we will experience
food
 shortage.
Hence
, it is vital to avoid trading
food
 for a
country
's profit. Another important thing to notice is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the recent decline in farming and agricultural occupations. Most countries are facing
this
 issue
due to
 the reason that many people are choosing higher education and sophisticated jobs.
Hence
, given
this
 current situation, it will be a risky business if a
country
 ventures into importing
food
 for reaping huge profits.
Secondly
, even in the present conditions, many governmental institutions are not aware
whether
Change preposition
of whether
show examples
 the entire
country
's
food
 supply is at the right levels.
For instance
, in India, there are many parts of the
country
 where people are suffering from a
food
 crisis, and the most quality products are imported to other countries first to improve their wealth, but the well-being of the citizens is not considered.
Hence
, I believe a
country
 should utilize their other resources for trade and minimize
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
food
 imports, as
food
 is the essential source for our survival. Shortage in any other resource can be solved by an alternative, but hunger will be a drastic problem.
Submitted by hemaecengineer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: