The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#rain #water #australian #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The diagram below describe

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

how

rain

Correct your spelling

rainwater

show examples

water

is collected and

then

treated to be used as drinking

water

in an Australian town.There are different equipment for collecting

rain

Correct your spelling

rainwater

show examples

water

and treated drinking

water

.(four houses,two tanks,

water

filter

and some pipes for

transmit

Change the verb form

transmitting

show examples

the

water

Overall

,the diagram

illustrate

Change the verb form

illustrates

show examples

that,

firstly

we need to

rain

all of

this

proces

Correct your spelling

process

.The

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

which help us for collecting and

treated

Wrong verb form

treating

show examples

to be used as drinking

water

are like

ring

Add an article

a ring

the ring

show examples

and

this

is not

closed

Add an article

a closed

show examples

system.

Firstly

the

rain

Correct your spelling

rainwater

show examples

water

down to the roof of

house

Add an article

the house

a house

show examples

and through the pipes

transmitted

Add a missing verb

is transmitted

show examples

water

Add an article

the water

a water

show examples

filter

.The

water

filter

essencial

Correct your spelling

essential

apparatus,because there are some dirty chemicals in the rainwater and the

water

filter

help us

for

Change preposition

show examples

clean these chemicals.After filtered

water

pass to

pipes

Correct article usage

the pipes

show examples

and visit to the tanks,there are 2 tanks,

first

Change the article

the first

show examples

tank

storage

Correct article usage

a storage

show examples

tank

.and after the

water

transmitted

Add a missing verb

is transmitted

show examples

water

Correct article usage

the water

show examples

treatment

tank

and some chemical

proces

Correct your spelling

processes

happen in

this

tank

Finally

drinking

water

is ready.

Submitted by Ayan on Thu Jun 15 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "firstly".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words rain, water, filter, tank with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Difference between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays, people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advetisements and TV channels. To what extent do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their subjects, other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for all qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own view.