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Band 2

In today's world, choosing perfect career is become an essential decision among the majority of youngsters. To what I extent do you agree or disagree?.

#world #career #decision #majority #youngsters
It is irrefutable that every student
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 is
graduate
Wrong verb form
graduating
show examples
 the school want to choose a good
career
 which is leading to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
luxury
Replace the word
luxurious
show examples
 and
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
 life. I agree that it is important to choose
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
career
 in order to
developing
Change the verb
develop
show examples
 yourself as a staff and
also
 a people.
Furthermore
, teenagers can create a fantastic world themselves by studying hard and only
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to develop themselves by reading different kinds of
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is Influencing the
youngsters
Change noun form
youngster's
youngsters'
show examples
 future.
On the other hand
, if students give up
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
studying and become lazy it is lead to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they are do not making a
career
 which youngsters want and high salaries job. If young people choose to right
career
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now , as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
child these youngsters can achieve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 goals because choosing
perfect
Correct article usage
the perfect
show examples
career
 depends on the actions which children make.
Also
, it is
undeniable
Correct article usage
an undeniable
show examples
 fact that if you get
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
high salary
Add a hyphen
high-salary
show examples
 job you'll don't
being
Change the form of the verb
be
show examples
financial problems in the future. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 young people need to choose
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
career
 in order to live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
luxury
Replace the word
luxurious
show examples
 life.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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