IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows changes in the numbers of residents cycling to work in different areas of the UK between 2001 and 2011.

The table below shows changes in the numbers of residents cycling to work in different areas of the UK between 2001 and 2011.
The table shows data about the number of people cycling to get to their jobs in the UK, and compares 12
areas
Use synonyms
 based on the percentage of change in their residents cycling to work between 2001 to 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
area
Use synonyms
 where we can find the most
commonly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
cyclists is closer to the capital
city
Punctuation problem
city,
show examples
 where all the bureaucracy and workplaces are present.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the capital
also
Linking Words
 holds a zone with the lowest percentage of the 12 places.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the
area
Use synonyms
 with the largest number of cycling workers is Inner, with a number rising to more than 140% in ten years, to obtain a population of 106,219 cycling workers, followed by a more modest increase of the cyclists of 45% in the Outer.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
 are some
areas
Use synonyms
 like Bristol, Manchester or Sheffield,
although
Linking Words
 they have fewer cyclists compared to Inner London, have a higher percentage of change in the period of 2001 to 2011, with an average change of 85%.
Secondly
Linking Words
, of all the
areas
Use synonyms
 that are shown, the one with the main concentration of
cyclist
Replace the word
cycling
show examples
 workers is the Inner
area
Use synonyms
, followed by its Outer
area
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
 the other
areas
Use synonyms
 have fewer people cycling to get to their jobs but are more likely to have a better changing rate than Inner and Outer London.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words areas, area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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