Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activities

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activities

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Some believe that banning extreme

sports

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governments

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is necessary

whereas

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others think these

sports

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should not be banned to create freedom for people to play any

sports

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. The writer of

this

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essay believes that

governments

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should not prohibit dangerous

sports

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due to

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the useful

skills

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they will get

along with

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the strong investment in

this

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kind of

sports

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although

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these

sports

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may encourage

children

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to violent behaviours. It must be understood that

children

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are likely to have a violent mindset after watching extreme

sports

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. To put it simply, the low awareness makes young generations not aware of what is correct or wrong,

therefore

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they can mimic some bad behaviours on the TV and do it in real life.

As a result

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, the number of school violence increases in developing countries where many

children

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lack school opportunities.

However

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, dangerous

sports

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can bring more benefits for players via useful

skills

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In other words

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, players can sharpen their bravery, problem-solving, and teamwork

skills

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based on the harsh conditions and the challenges they will face.

Moreover

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, these

skills

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can be applied in other fields

such

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as in their occupations where individuals need to cope with the stress and the risks. In my opinion,

instead

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of banning extreme

sports

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governments

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should fund to upgrade the facilities, and equipment to ensure safety. To be more specific, to reduce the fear and negative recognition of

this

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type of sport, ensuring safety is a compulsory task for the government to limit the trouble situations,

thus

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the facilities and devices should be renovated.

For instance

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, New Zealand is a country which is famous for extreme

sports

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because of the safety and positive feelings. In conclusion, despite

children

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can be affected negatively by dangerous

sports

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governments

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should not prohibit these

sports

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because of the

skills

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players can earn and they should invest more in

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Mon Aug 12 2024

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task achievement

While the essay presents a clear stance, the introduction could provide a smoother transition into the main arguments by indicating the structure of the essay more explicitly.

coherence cohesion

The second paragraph effectively introduces a counter-argument; however, it could benefit from a clearer connection to the main thesis. Consider concluding the paragraph with a sentence that reinforces your viewpoint.

task achievement

In the third paragraph, the examples and benefits of extreme sports should be more closely linked to the main argument. It would also help to include examples of specific skills gained and how they are useful.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion could be strengthened by briefly summarizing the main points to better encapsulate the entire discussion.

task achievement

The introduction clearly sets up the debate and states the writer's position in a straightforward manner.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-structured, with each paragraph addressing a specific point related to the thesis.

task achievement

Examples provided, such as the case of New Zealand, add credibility and real-world relevance to the arguments presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public safety
Personal freedom
Autonomy
Healthcare system
Burden
Fatalities
Economic impact
Tourism
Local economies
Revenue
Regulation
Prohibition
Safety standards
Balanced approach
Cultural significance
Heritage
Informed consent
Awareness
Risks
Participants

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Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activities

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Today, many people don't know their neighbours in large city What problems does this cause what can be done about this

The spread of urban areas has led to deforestation and has caused many animal species to become endangered. Environmental groups are urging governments to protect these animals. What are the benefits of protecting animals? What can governments do to protect animals?

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn the news. However, others believe that they can learn the news more effectively though other media. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.