Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career,while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school

Most

people

find a wholly true

way

to study university or college before working and achieving a successful job

however

others

prefer to

work

after secondary school without a high

degree

. In my view, having a

degree

may be a fundament to receive successful

work

. On the one hand, graduating from school

to begin

working immediately has several beneficial sides.

For example

, to

work

in some jobs

degree

is not necessary

such

as bloggers and

this

by job

people

can find more

money

easily . In

this

way

, without qualification

people

may earn more

money

thus

people

believe to find more

money

by studying in high school. More often than not,

this

way

is better for some

people

who have not interested to study. After all, for

this

kind of

people

earning

money

this

way

is better in every aspect.

On the other hand

, most

people

want to have a

degree

for every

work

. ,

Also

this

situation has enough benefits

such

as respect from

others

,especially their children. Studying at university or college is beneficial for not only a successful

work

career

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

for being an ideal model for their children in

this

world.

Moreover

,during studying at university students are able to learn important things to find better jobs as compared to

others

. Evidence for

this

is provided by there are so many academic and none academic

people

according to

work

experience because academics learnt more than

others

Therefore

, having a

degree

is beneficial for everyone. In a nutshell,

although

there are Jobs that do not demand qualifications in

this

day and age,

people

may achieve more things with a

degree

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Thu Jun 15 2023

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

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Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

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