The given graph shows the main sources of energy for USA in 1980 and 1990

The given graph shows the main sources of energy for USA in 1980 and 1990
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two pie charts compare the percentage of 5 categories (
oil
Use synonyms
, natural gas, coal, hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
) of
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
between 1980 and 1990. It is
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
that the percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
sources
oil
Use synonyms
and natural gas experienced a significant fall over the
10 year
Add a hyphen
10-year
show examples
period
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
figure for coal and nuclear
power
Use synonyms
. In 1980, 42%
an
Change preposition
of an
show examples
average
USA
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
sourc
Correct your spelling
source
went on
oil
Use synonyms
which was the largest
oil
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the chart,
however
Linking Words
, by 1990 the figure small for
this
Linking Words
categories
Fix the agreement mistake
category
show examples
had fallen by 33%.
During a
Change preposition
A
show examples
decade ago, the demand for natural gas
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
Use synonyms
USA
Correct your spelling
US
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
experienced a considerable fall from 26% to 25% .
By contrast
Linking Words
, in terms of coal the percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
category made up 24% in 1980 and after 10 years.
This
Linking Words
figure saw a sharp increase at 27% making it the largest
energy
Use synonyms
sources
Fix the agreement mistake
source
show examples
of all. In
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, the smallest proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
sources belonged to nuclear
power
Use synonyms
in the first year,
however
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
year
Change noun form
year's
show examples
period, there was a 5 % rise in
this
Linking Words
category.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words oil, power, usa, energy with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: