Smokers have rights too, so they should be allowed to smoke in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some people thought that person, who
smoke
Correct subject-verb agreement
smokes

It seems that the verb smoke does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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, is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

human
Correct article usage
a human

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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who
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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rights and
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

also
Add a missing verb
is also

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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, allowed to smoke cigarettes in public areas. From my point of view, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement,
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

I will explain
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with two strong reasons.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, more and more people are starting to use tobacco,
as a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they are smoking in public places. They might argue that when they are smoking, we are just consuming fuel which is totally different from real cigarettes. Researchers, in spite of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, already approved
Correct word choice
that second

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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second hand
Add a hyphen
second-hand

It appears that second hand is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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smoking is similar to smoke directly. 
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, maybe they can oppose the idea can not smoking in public areas, they have human rights.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when they are doing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

action, they are violating
others
Change noun form
others'
other's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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right. In the second place, public smoking will enhance and normalize the idea, smoking is
normal
Add an article
a normal

The noun phrase normal thing seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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thing,
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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teenagers and young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults

It seems that adult may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
smokers
Correct article usage
the smokers

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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count can increase in future
moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we cannot deny
health
Correct article usage
the health

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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problems caused to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans

It seems that human may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. To be exact, cigarettes
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject cigarettes. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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serious health adverse effects on people which can be deadly
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that the comma after such as is unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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lung cancer, gastric ulcer and so on. In
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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research, it has proved, cigarette increases blood pressure and cholesterol level,
in addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is procrastinating
healing
Correct article usage
the healing

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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process. In conclusion, no matter how things are changing, still smoking
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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where they want will be inappropriate
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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all the time. We should not approve things which
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject things. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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bad
Add an article
a bad

The noun phrase bad influence seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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influence
to
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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citizens.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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