IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment, people must use less energy in their daily lives. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual action? What could be done to encourage them to take action?

#scientists #environment #people #energy #lives #action
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The
earth
 is the first and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unique place for living human beings. The
environment
 of the
earth
 exposes more challenges daily. For protection
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
earths
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
 circumstances,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 should reduce the
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of energy.
While
,
people
, the
one
 who lives on the
earth
 does not change their
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
. Here, in
this
 essay, I will clarify the main reasons behind
people
 not
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 personal action. On the
one
 hand, the
one
 who lives in
this
 area
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 does not have enough time to organize his life properly and can not choose a traditional way for his life. Everyone in
this
eara
Correct your spelling
area
 needs to use some tools which are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 our
environment
.
For example
, using cars,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
produces a lot of gases,
such
 as CO2 and free radicals which are toxic for humans and harmful to the Ozon layer that surrounds the
earth
 and protects us.
However
, some efforts are done by some organization committees to change the mentality of human beings
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but still
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 more work.
On the other hand
,
people
 are not supported by the authorities to do actions for protecting
Correct article usage
the earths
show examples
earths
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
environment
 which is
one
 of the key factors.
For instance
, if the government increases public transformation services
such
 as putting trains and metros for transforming
people
, leads to decreasing personal cars.
Overall
, transformation and human mentality are two factors that make
earth's
Correct article usage
the earth's
show examples
environment
 to be better or not. The authorities have the power to make new services
such
 as increasing public transformation
instead
 using more cars by
people
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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