Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not having strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#countries #ages #people #drink #laws #policy

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It is true that many nations have a limited age

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for

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drinking

while

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others think it is unnecessary to have

laws

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. In my opinion, making

laws

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for drinking

alcohol

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is better. On the one hand, there are several reasons why some

people

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believe that the government should not push

laws

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alcohol

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Firstly

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, there are other ways to educate young children who are under 18

such

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as using educational videos or learning from school.

Secondly

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, sometimes strong

laws

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are not working as education can be an alternative to take them away from

alcohol

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Lastly

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although

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there are strict

laws

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in the world, a lot of pupils do not follow them.

This

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is why nowadays the crime rate of drinking

alcohol

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is rapidly growing.

On the other hand

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, in my opinion, the government and authorities should make rules for them. One of the main reasons can be that without strong rules it can have a harmful impact on the younger generation.

This

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is because children do not have the ability to distinguish right from wrong so sometimes they break the rule without purpose. So making rules

such

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as giving penalties to them should be work. Another reason is that drinking cocktails under the age of 18 is harmful to young

people

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Thus

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, there are a huge amount of articles and reports on why

people

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should not drink when they are young. In conclusion,

while

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people

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think making a strong rule of drinking for young

people

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is not working, I am convinced that it is necessary in our society.

Submitted by kim88974150 on Thu Jun 15 2023

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task response

Task Response: The essay provides a clear discussion of both sides of the issue and presents a clear opinion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed and the response could be more comprehensive.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay shows a logical structure, with some well-supported main points. However, the introduction and conclusion are underdeveloped, and the overall structure could be improved for better coherence and cohesion.

lexical resource

Lexical Resource: There is some variety in vocabulary usage, but more diverse and precise vocabulary could be used to enhance the essay.

grammatical range

Grammatical Range: The essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures and shows some control of complex sentences. However, more varied and accurate use of grammar and punctuation would elevate the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Legal drinking age
Underage drinking
Health repercussions
Addiction
Drunk-driving
Responsible drinking
Forbidden fruit
Social rituals
Public health
Safety framework
Risks of alcohol
Cultural differences

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Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not having strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities , so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.