Sports and exercise classes with more academic seasons. what is your opinion on this change how how this change will affect children's life in your view? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples for your own experience and knowledge

#sports #exercise #classes #seasons #change #children #life #reason

In the past

children

were entertained by books,playing outside and spending their time with their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

,but when modern technology came to us, things

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

changed

children

stoped

Correct your spelling

stopped

show examples

reading books from

libaries

Correct your spelling

libraries

Instead

Add a comma

,Instead

show examples

they used their

smartphones

to search the web and find what book to read

Change preposition

apply

show examples

or play video games on for hours and not stopping .

This

will have my negative approval There are some factors about smartphone abuse.

Firstly

smartphones

are the

youngs

Change noun form

young's

show examples

tool to get over academics by searching the

infomation

Correct your spelling

information

online to find the answer and solved it.

Secondly

,the use of social media started

for instance

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apply

show examples

TikTok,Facebook and

Intsagram

Correct your spelling

Instagram

which are the

necesaties

Correct your spelling

necessities

for

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

to connect to others,so if the

children

does

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show examples

not contact them but

regulary

Correct your spelling

regularly

their

smartphones

it will

cause

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

harm

Change to a plural noun

harms

show examples

to them

In my opinion

Add the comma(s)

, In my opinion,

show examples

the overuse of

smartphones

may

dertirmine

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determine

the

inflenece

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influence

on the young .Among them

are

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show examples

healh

Correct your spelling

health

risk

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risks

show examples

Through

Change preposition

show examples

research sticking their eyes on a phone over an hour may

cause

red

eye

Fix the agreement mistake

eyes

show examples

rubbing

Correct word choice

and rubbing

show examples

your eyes may

cause

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

slowy

Correct your spelling

slowly

lose vision .

Also

overusing

smartphones

may

cause

them to have no outdoor activities resulting

obesity

Change preposition

in obesity

show examples

, another thing is it may affect your

Correct your spelling

studies

studys

Correct your spelling

studies

by causing your brain to not

Correct your spelling

think

show examples

thing

Correct your spelling

think

show examples

straight after spending time on social media and playing games on a daily basis In conclusion,in many factors,online interaction and the lack of parent observation.I see the trend

harmful

Correct word choice

as harmful

show examples

to physical health and the schools

children

learned

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

in.

Submitted by jakelong16091994 on Fri Jun 16 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Sports and exercise classes with more academic seasons. what is your opinion on this change how how this change will affect children's life in your view? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples for your own experience and knowledge

Fully explain your ideas

Many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. Why? What solutions?

Write about the following topic •Inventors are not as important to society as doctors •To what extent do you agree with this statement Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that in our modern age it is unnecessary to teach children about the skills of handwriting.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. Discuss both views and give your opinion.