IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.
#information #employment #rates #countries #summarise #idea #comparisons
The bar chart illustrates the data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 job rates in six nations based on sex between 1995 and 2005.
Overall
, a glance
of
Change preposition
at
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 the figure provided
it is clear that
 both genders in all countries experienced increases over the period of two years, and the number of men
are
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is
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 more than women.
To begin
, the occupation levels of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 in the six states had similar patterns, which they grew significantly throughout the years and became more dominant than the opposite. Iceland had the highest number among all nations,
stood
Wrong verb form
standing
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 at above 80% in 2005,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
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 by Switzerland and Australia, which
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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accounted for 55% and 65% respectively. The remaining countries had
slight
Change the word
slightly
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same
Correct article usage
the same
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 numbers in male jobs, which were around between 55% and 60% in 1995,
rose
Correct word choice
and rose
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 to below 72% in the following
a
Correct article usage
apply
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decade.
On the other hand
, female employees had
less
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fewer
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 rates than
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 in all nations during the period. More than 50%
women
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of women
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 had a profession in Switzerland, soaring to just under 70% in 2005, and became the majority of
the
Remove the article
apply
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them. British and United States had
similar
Add an article
a similar
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number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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 in 2005,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 at approximately 62%, growing by nearly four-fifths. The three states had rates below 55% in the final year, in which female Australian individuals were the least of them.
Submitted by dimasfajarairlangga on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • economic indicators
  • comparative analysis
  • trends and patterns
  • economic factors
  • stability and change
  • sector-specific
  • job market
  • workforce participation
  • fluctuations
  • economic growth
  • unemployment
  • recession
  • boom
  • labor market dynamics
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